Sunday, February 01, 2015

Doctors Can't Say Medium

Boot Key Harbor, FL

Yesterday was the health fair.  That is an event sponsored by the U of Miami Medical.  It allows medical students to get some real life experience.   The cruisers here are big enthusiasts of the health fair.  It is a valuable and much appreciated service.  At the health fair, you get a very comprehensive checkup in up to about 10 categories.

Well, one category I signed up for was the so-called male exam.  I didn't think much about it.  I've had that exam before, done by both male and female doctors.   It's no big deal.

As I was waiting, I chatted with the attractive girl med student who administered the waiting list.  She was nice and we talked back and forth nearly half and hour.  Eventually, there were no more men waiting other than me.  The supervising doctor came out and said to this girl.  "OK, you're going to do this one."

I still didn't think much about it. I chatted with the doctor as she did it.  I turned my head and coughed when she asked me to.  I didn't even catch on when the doctor had to explain to the girl what it meant to tell me to "assume the position."   That position is the preliminary to the crux of the male exam -- the prostate gland.

 Anyhow, she started doing it.  The doctor said, "Is it smooth?"  She hesitated, but said, "Yes."  The doctor said, "Is is large or small."  She hesitated more, then she said, "It's more like medium."  The doctor jumped on that angrily, "You're a doctor, now.  You're not allowed to say medium."   I think that was a great quote of the day.

By the way, when I checked out to leave the health fair, they said, "Oh, you didn't do the male exam."   It seems that the girl forgot to write down anything on paper.  Only then did I fully understand how nervous that poor girl must have been.

I also got some unwelcome news.   My weight shot up significantly.   Libby says that it happened in the past two months. Hey two months ago, we arrived in Marathon.  That made me realize two things.  Last year I went to the gym 7 days a week.  This year I didn't because I learned that Planet Fitness has even nicer gyms for $10.99/month while the gym here in Marathon charges $60/month.  That's robbery and it offended me.

Another truth hit me.  I've gotten into the habit of eating lunch off the boat.  Marathon seems to be a Mecca for $5 lunches.   Numerous restaurants all over the island compete to offer the best $5 lunch. Once a week we go to lunch with our friends, but the other 6 days in the week, I had also been going to lunch by myself.

I need to up the exercise and cut the food intake; pronto.

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