Cliques

Vergennes, Vermont
NoLL

Yesterday, my friend Dave relayed an interesting observation. He has a power boat and normally power boaters and sailing boaters don't mix all that much. Dave said, "However, as soon as we mount the sailing rig on our dinghy, we are instantly accepted as part of the sailing group." I'm sure he's right. How interesting.

Human beings of all cultures continuously form cliques or circles of affinity. Psychologists can study how they go about that. Dave's comment though reminds me that some of the external signs and influences of this psychology are somewhat more visible because of our non-conventional life styles.

It's quite true that power boaters and sail boaters don't mix that much. I think the main reason is that many power boaters like to party loud and long and with lots of alcohol. Sail boaters are more demure and they start getting sleepy at sunset. That said, Libby and I have found that those power boaters who we have made friends with are lovely people, and much more like us that party group. I suspect that the sail/power social split is mostly unnecessary.

Also visible is the hierarchy of boaters according to the use of their boats. At the bottom of the heap are holiday boaters who only go on boats 2-3 times per year. They annoy the other boaters because of their lack of experience and because they haven't learned the etiquette of boating. Next up are day sailors (power or sail), then weekend cruisers, long distance cruisers, full time cruisers, and at the very top circumnavigators; disregarding power or sail in all classes. I'll admit to being pleased to the ego stroking that comes from being on the second to top rung of that ladder. We constantly meet people who admire us because we live the life they dream of living.

Note that rich people's boats, including mega yachts, occupy the lowest run on this social ladder. At least according to me. Despite their thick wallets, they tend to spend very little time on their boats and thus don't earn much respect. Their professional captains and crews are a different matter. Those people usually really know what they're doing.

I don't know where to place big game fishermen in the hierarchy. We have had very little contact with those people.

Anyhow, the type and experience of the boater is only one factor that influences who we choose to make friends with, who to ignore and who to shun. The rest of the chemistry I do not pretend to be able to explain.

In land-based life practicality forces us to choose friends first and foremost from our neighbors and co-workers based on long-standing acquaintance. In the cruising life, neighbors are very transitory so we are forced to choose friends quicker, based on slight acquaintances and impressions. We have learned to be open in breaking ice with strangers. We paddle up their boats cold and introduce ourselves. They do the same to us. More often than not, such overtures are successful and within a few minutes we have new friends. In fact we invite each other on board to inspect the boats. On land, it is very rare to invite a stranger to tour your house just because he/she knocked on your door? Social dynamics on the water are much more open.

Our friends on Twin Spirits, recently changed from a cruising boat to land cruising in RVs. They say that while there is much similarity with boating social norms, there are big differences. Stephan said that he thinks it is because RVers stay such short times in once place. Before making the opening move to meet a fellow RVer, he (or you) have departed for someplace else.